Funyuns and Mountain Dew

Either one of those crazy bastards is coming out with a movie and they've jumped the publicity stunt into overdrive, or things have gotten terribly out of hand and Katie Holmes is actually pregnant. Although I could've sworn Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman adopted children because he couldn't get people pregnant. Something about not having any sperm or preferring sex with men. Whatever the reason, it doesn't make sense that he would suddenly be able to start knocking people up. I don't know what's going on here, but it's freaking me out, man.

Because Clark, or Lex, or Man-Lois would have been too subtle. Because Gwyneth Paltrow's kid is going to need a friend in the nurse's office every recess. And because Bizarro Superman Copola Cage is just too many letters to monogram on tiny feety pajamas.

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